I was born 2 months premature weighing 2lbs at birth and in the hospital in as many months, the doctor told my grandmother that he would not give her a plug nickel for my life because I was really sick and thanks to my mom’s prayers, faith and most important her relationship with Christ He healed me and I’m thankful and grateful to Him. When I was 9 yrs old a family member molested me I never told anyone but I later found out this family member molested my cousins as well. I was confused and too scared to say anything to anyone so I stored it in the back of my mind and continued to live life. I come from a big family so it was easy to be distracted and not think about being violated. I was 15 yrs old when my preacher father molested me until the age of 16. I can still remember it now just like it was yesterday, the shock, the hurt, the pain, the confusion, the fear were all the emotions rumbling on the inside of me the first time it happened. I remember crying but trying to hide it out of fear of getting hit. It was the most horrible thing a woman can experience and when it’s family who are the violators it becomes twice as difficult to us victims. Just like I did when I was 9 yrs old I pushed the memories and pain into the back of my mind and tried to live a normal life. I had mixed emotions on how I felt about my dad after what he did to me, I know I still love him, I never hated him and thought that I was strange because I didn’t hate him. I got good grades in high school and participated in basketball, volleyball, track and field, and the drill team and loved doing all of them it kept me out of the house and away from my dad. My mom worked and went to college it gave my dad the opportunity to creep into my room to have full blown sex with me including oral sex and I’m glad I never became pregnant with my own sister/niece. I lived my high school years through what I like to call LIVING IN NUMBVILLE, I floated through life going through the motions completing everything but accomplishing nothing. I put my feelings deep inside of me not knowing when I’ll be able to talk about my molestation including the pain and shame that comes along with it. I was only going to deal with them when I was ready and no one could force me otherwise. Life was HARD during this time, and I’m looking forward at this point in time to see the EASY part of it, WHERE ARE YOU EASY??