I’ve been feeling like going fishing here in the last few days but it has rained so much my usual fishing spots are too dangerous to take a chance so I’ve been trying to deal with my hurt by working a lot and it has helped at times but I’m still feeling some pain. I’m more angry than I am hurting because I’m finding myself back in this same situation and I’m MAD BECAUSE OF THE TIME I’VE WASTED. I don’t know about you but one of my biggest pet peeves is when someone waste my time, I LOATHE MY TIME BEING WASTED BECAUSE IT’S TIME YOU’LL NEVER GET BACK!!!! I’ve been feeling like the AIR has been let out of me, these men need to be more careful or thoughtful of the way they treat women especially when they’re emotionally unavailable or unwilling to be tied down at that moment in life, I have no problems with a man wanting to be a bachelor, I LOVE BEING A BACHELORETTE, do your thing MAN if that’s what you want but DO IT ALONE, LEAVE US WOMEN OUT OF IT, ESPECIALLY THOSE OF US WITH KIDS!!
Men just like women should take the time between relationships to think about our mistakes and change the ones we can so that in the next relationship the same mistake wont be made, we should allow ourselves time to reflect on our individual flaws we’ve carried around for years, seek help from clergy, or therapists, pray, read your bible, and fast, all those things will help me as well as you get through your difficult times. I’ve grown to rely of Jesus when I find myself back here again, no matter how hard I try not to attract or indulge men who aren’t FULLY available to women, THEY KEEP STICKING TO ME LIKE GLUE and I’m at this stage now to where I just want them to LEAVE ME ALONE, at least for now so that I can have that time for Jesus to prepare me for the man He has for me.
My friend and I haven’t talked much this week, he has no idea what I’m thinking or what I would like to say to him about his behavior once again. I’m not sure now if I want to even consider him a friend after all this, I’ve always like being around men growing up, they’re fun to be around and I have many whom I consider a friend and I thought he was one of them but now I’m not so sure. I don’t need anyone like him in my circle, YES he has a lot of good qualities and we have fun together but when you’re constantly leading women on to the point to where you don’t even realize your doing it so you are a person I need to avoid as much as possible. I refuse to hold a grudge against him, the bible says IF WE CAN’T FORGIVE OUR BROTHER HERE ON EARTH FOR THEIR TRESPASSES AGAINST US JESUS WILL NOT FORGIVE US WHEN WE’RE STANDING BEFORE HIM. Matt 6:15 but I will limit my interaction with him without offending him or his family.
I haven’t prayed or read my bible much, I’m still a little numb from my experience, I feel like a train has ran over me 10 times over and what makes it bad is I laid all my cards on the table and I feel he took advantage of the situation while keeping a safe enough distance from me in order to leave himself enough wiggle room to run when he’s feeling antsy and ready to back away. I promise you, IF I NEVER HERE THE WORDS” BACK AWAY” EVER AGAIN FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE IT WOULD BE TOO SOON! I will get back into reading and praying again, I have asked for the Lord’s help and He has come through like a champ as usual. He has given me perfect fishing conditions this weekend, I will be listening to my audio bible while fishing enjoying God’s beautiful creation while re establishing my relationship with Him.
This too shall pass, I will be, NO I AM OKAY with Jesus’ help, I forgive my friend and wish nothing but the best for him but I can not go there with him anymore, MY HEART CAN’T TAKE THE REJECTION, I’m gonna use this time to sit still in MY GOD INSPIRED WILDERNESS (JUST LIKE THE CHILDREN OF ISRAEL) and wait on God to guide my footsteps after all HE IS A PRO and knows what he’s doing. I will embrace my singlehood and love being single so that the Lord can have my full undivided attention.
And they overcame him(Satan) by the blood of the Lamb (Jesus) and by the word of their testimony; and they loved not their lives unto death. Revelation 12:11 Thank you Jesus
My peeps, I hope you all try Jesus, He will help you I KNOW BECAUSE HE CONTINUES TO HELP ME, He loves me, He loves us all just give Him a chance. Be blessed