HEY MY PEEPS I PRAY ALL IS WELL, I WANT TO THANK YOU FOR FOLLOWING ME, IT MEANS SO MUCH TO ME TO KNOW THAT I’M NOT THE ONLY PERSON DEALING WITH THE ISSUES I’M WRITING ABOUT IN MY BLOG. I HOPE WE CAN LEARN FROM EACH OTHER’S EXPERIENCES AND GROW TOGETHER IN FAITH WITH THE HELP OF OUR LORD AND SAVIOUR JESUS CHRIST.
Yesterday started out perfect, the weather was great, my David and I had breakfast together before our day, I went to visit his sister at the big house (we have a small home on her property we live in until our new home is built) she and her son were sitting outside on the porch drinking coffee when I approached them to greet them for the morning, we talked of many subjects including the role of the church in society when suddenly everything spiraled downward, I mentioned to my soon to be nephew how my Pastor held a fireside chat with our congregation to outline the many changes the church will be making under his new leadership and one of those changes will be to not reject or dismiss any person who’s gender confused that wants to worship with us, THEY WILL BE WELCOMED NO MATTER THEIR RACE OR APPEARANCE. WHAT DID I SAY THAT FORRRRRR? MAAAAANN THE SON BECAME OUTRAGED I COULDN’T BELIEVE THE NONSENSE I WAS HEARING, he called transgender people reprobates who’re going to hell because of their homosexuality, gays were pedophiles, murderers, child molesters, yada yada, and the more he spoke the angrier I became to where I told him in anger how wrong he was for what he was saying PLUS he had the nerve to try to wrap that nonsense around a cloak of justification through the scriptures and I became unhinged (respectfully) he stated my church, myself, and my David were reprobates because we dare to show the love of Christ to those who are lost, HOW DARE WE!!
I WENT OFF ON HIM, I KNOW IT WASN’T RIGHT BUT I COULDN’T HELP IT, HE WAS INSULTING MY CHURCH, HUSBAND, AND MY PERSON OFF COURSE I WILL DEFEND THOSE AREAS TO THE HILT. I stated the scripture where it says “for all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. Romans 3:23 and that his sins are no different than homosexuals as a whole so who is he to judge and what makes him think that he’s going to heaven he’s harboring bitterness and anger towards them. By this time he’s stood up right in my face because I’m not backing down to his crap and tried to put me out of his mom’s house, I told him I wasn’t going anywhere he’s not my husband nor does he pay any bills in his mom’s house so if she doesn’t insist I leave then I wont leave, AND I DIDN’T LEAVE UNTIL I GOT READY TO LEAVE. I was HOT, he was all in my space bubble yelling and I was giving it back to him (to his surprise) then I called him a wimp and told him to talk to his wife in the same tone as he’s talking to me and to shut up, leave me alone, I’m not playin, before I hurt him as I was walking out the door to find my David.
I felt bad spiritually immediately, conviction and guilt were my friend for the moment I soon began to pray asking God to forgive me for my outbursts and the tone I used to get my point across, I realized at that moment I was no different than my nephew and I may have messed up my witness to him since we talk about the Lord at times in the past. As I walked across the yard to our 5th wheel I told my David what happened, he became angry and wanted to confront his nephew but I wouldn’t let him because I didn’t want to come between my David and his family, I want to blend in and help when and where I’m needed, we all have gotten along beautifully from day one, it didn’t matter that I’m black and they’re Italian, Irish, Indian just like my child’s father I hit it off with his sister especially, I call her SIS and we hang out a lot just talking and venting about life so imagine my surprise when this man is in my face insulting me, my church, my David and the love of Jesus in general.
I was ashamed of my behavior so after I calmed down I asked God for forgiveness while praying I texted sis to apologize for my behavior and the drama I caused, and that I never meant to disrespect her or her home and it will never happen again. She texted back that it’s all good and her son does not speak for her, I am still welcomed in her home. I’m thankful and relieved to God that sis and I are still good, getting along with my in laws are important to me because I want David to be as stress free as possible in our marriage concerning family issues and not have to take sides against his family causing issues between US as a couple over time. He has lived with drama his entire life, his parents nicknamed him JD when he was 2 years old it stands for juvenile delinquent so he lived his life as a juvenile delinquent. He was abused mentally, physically, mentally, emotionally and psychologically as a kid I don’t want to add to that pain from his past I love him too much to do that to him.
I will make amends with my nephew when the time comes, in the meantime I will avoid any contact with him unless necessary, I will speak and not hold ill will I’m not sure if I’ll ever feel comfortable enough to ever converse with him after this incident. I will pray for us both, he obviously have things going on just like everybody else. Forgiveness and repentance are vital tools in Christianity we must forgive those who trespass against us no matter what they do to us, after all Jesus set the perfect example of forgiveness on the cross when he said “FATHER FORGIVE THEM FOR THEY KNOW NOT WHAT THEY DO” if HE can forgive after all He went through, I can forgive too AND I HAVE. The Lord Jesus and my David mean more to me than a grudge. I hope you all can learn forgiveness in your lives, it may seem hard or impossible to forgive but the bible says “all things are possible for them who loves Christ Jesus.”
The wedding plans are coming along, My David did something amazing the other day, we were riding the motorcycle and as we stopped to fill up the tank, my mom called and he asked her for MY HAND IN MARRIAGE BECAUSE MY DAD IS DECEASED, she gave him her permission and was happy for us and now everything is perfect. Thank you Lord for loving me and sending me MY DAVID, thank you for answering my childhood prayer in waiting to send my husband to me once you cleaned us up and prepared us for marriage, although it’s taken 30 plus years I thank you regardless DAVID IS WORTH THE WAIT!! LET THE WORDS OF MY MOUTH AND THE MEDITATION OF MY HEART BE ACCEPTABLE IN THY SIGHT OH LORD MY STRENGTH AND MY REDEEMER. AMEN BE BLESSED MY PEEPS