Preacher Kid Confessions

The true story of one woman's journey in faith

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This weekend was mine and My David’s first Memorial Day weekend together and coincidentally his birthday is the day before Memorial Day, I’d been planning a surprise birthday celebration with our friends for a month, I told him I was planning something SPECIAL for him because he’s never had a woman who cared enough about him to celebrate so I wanted him to promise me he would not resist, complain, whine, or question anything just GO WITH THE FLOW, and he promised.

Fast forward to this weekend, A WHOLE WEEK LATER, the day of his birth, we’re getting ready for church when he began complaining about not having his morning smoothie along with his pill supplements, (mind you, I’ve asked him to leave some of those items at our city home so he’d have them whenever he was there, BUT NOOOO he has to resist after 3 months of me offering and continues to complain. I’ve told him many, many times how much I DESPISE WHINING, ESPECIALLY WHEN IT’S MEN WHO ARE WHINING, so as he’s whining, I’m getting angrier by the moment. We come home from church to get ready for the birthday gathering when he began whining about the heat, the bumpy roads on the freeway, how hungry he was, the dogs need to be walked, YADA, YADA, YADA, by this time I’M BOILIN IN ANGER, I WAS SO ANGRY I STARTED CRYING JUST TO KEEP FROM GOING OFF ON HIM.

He continued to get on my RSERVE NERVE with his selfish and self centeredness dragging his feet making us late to the party being totally inconsiderate even when he sees me crying he continued to be and act selfishly until I finally had it when he asked for some eye cream, I YELLED AT HIM ” I DON’T GIVE A DERN ABOUT NO EYE CREAM, LET’S GO!!!! He exited stage right out the door and to the motorcycle where I later joined him scolding him about his selfishness and inconsiderateness before we began rolling. He’s now SMELLING HIMSELF BIG TIME because he started driving the bike like a maniac, weaving between cars on the interstate where there’s construction and debris on the roads making it extremely dangerous as I was getting angrier and angrier the closer we got to our friend’s home.

I didn’t want our friends to see me angry so I decided to put on my fake smile pretending I was fine while the insides of me are BOILING LIKE EGGS IN WATER! David continued his whiny, selfish behavior before we left for the restaurant and most of the time while eating in the restaurant so I decided to tell everyone how he’s been WORKIN’ MY RESERVE NERVE SINCE HE WOKE UP! Of course they laughed at us, I was laughing too just to keep the mood light knowing full well I was going to LAY INTO HIM WHEN WE GOT HOME. He apologized to me in front of our friends for his behavior, we kissed and made up continuing to enjoy the day. After eating we got back on the bike and road to the country to look at houses for David and I.

We found a house for sale sitting on 20 acres of land, 2 bedrooms 1 1/2 baths, one story, big kitchen, dining rooms, closet space, everything a couple would need. A creek separated this house and the neighbor’s home, a two-car garage, and shed. The owners want $280,000 for it but I’m not sure I want that because My David wants to build me a house on our own lot we plan on buying. We’ve been looking in the country for land to purchase so he can build my dream home he’s been promising me since we began to date and fell in love. We rode back to our friends for ice cream and cake and opening the gifts, I got him a motorcycle cover he was surprised and happy and afterwards we began preparing to ride the bike home when he once again GOT ALL INTO HIS FEELINGS AND SMELLIN’ HIS BUTT by being indecisive about the route we’re taking home, AND SINCE HE WAS MAD AND IT WAS ALL ABOUT HIM, HE WAS DRIVING BETWEEN 70-80 MPH ON THE FREEWAY!! I was scared to death and yelled at him to slow down but he didn’t listen so I began digging my fingernails into his side until we got home.

Once he shut the bike down I jumped off it and told him off for putting my life in danger and not caring a bit about me or my daughter. I expressed how he RUINED MY EFFORT IN PLANNING THIS PARTY AND THE MONIES I SPENT GIVING HIM THE BEST PARTY  HE’S EVER HAD SO THANK YOU VERY MUCH I REALLY APPRECIATE YOUR SELFISH AND SELF CENTEREDNESS, never mind the effort and monies I spent on OUR grandson’s birthday the day prior, NOOOO IT WAS ALL ABOUT HIM! I actually renamed him ALL ABOUT HIM just for yesterday. He tried to speak, I wouldn’t allow him because I’d had enough of the WHINING, ME, ME, ME, crap he was giving me all day so he politely and quietly sat there and listened to me TELL HIM ABOUT HIMSELF. Once I finished I decided to not talk to him for the rest of the evening HE HATED THAT, HE DOESN’T LIKE MY SILENT TREATMENT and I didn’t care at that point I WAS DONE WITH HIM FOR THE DAY!

I slept okay but not great, I don’t like going to bed angry, the bible says, ” Be angry, and sin not, don’t let the sun go down upon your wrath” and I was scared I’d die before I could make up with MY DAVID. He was gone when I woke up, he texted me a long message thanking me for my effort, saying it was the best birthday he’s ever had, and he’s sorry for being selfish. He prayed to God to help him get rid of his selfish behavior and he doesn’t know why I love him. I was happy and relieved he apologized and I explained how many excellent qualities and potential he has and I’m not sure why he loves me but I thank him anyway. I have forgiven him, forgiveness is important for a Christian because Jesus asked us to forgive our brother 70 x 7 when they mistreat us and I refuse to be disobedient to Him causing our marriage to be cursed from the beginning.

Besides, I’m far from perfect and he loves me anyway so it’s easy for me to forgive him when he hurts me. I know it’s not intentional, he’s a really good man, he’s a recovered alcoholic/cocaine addict who’s been sober and recovered for 18 1/2 years, he sponsors many guys at the jail and ones from the different meetings bi-weekly. He also sponsors a man every Sunday after church, WE attend meetings together weekly and we attend bible studies at our friend’s home every Saturday, he’s really making an effort to grow in the Lord so that he can be the kingdom man the Lord wants him to be. I know he loves me with all his heart and I love him the same way, we will be together forever because the Lord brought us together and HE SAYS ” WHAT GOD HAS JOINED TOGETHER, LET NO MAN PUT ASSUNDER” I refuse to divorce so I’m learning to forgive and to control my temper so I won’t push him away!

His sister owns rental properties, she wants David and I to move in to one of her homes but it’s not very accommodating to the dogs so we’re looking for something else. Please pray for us my peeps that the Lord show us FAVOR IN THE HOUSING MARKET getting our home until we build. I just spoke and prayed for my David before he lays down for the night, we pray together every night, and I read the bible to him in bed, NO WE’RE STILL NOT HAVING SEX AND WE SLEEP IN ALL CLOTHING TO BE SAFE FROM TEMPTATION.  We’re determined not to disappoint God, thank you Lord for my daughter, my mama, and MY DAVID, we love you Lord, YES MY DAVID WAS TRIPPIN HARD “ON ICE YESTERDAY” but I love him and will continue to pray for my husband to be. Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in thy sight oh Lord my strength and my redeemer. BE BLESSED MY PEEPS ALL DAY EVERY DAY I LOVE YA’LL AND THERE’S ABSOLUTELY NOTHING YA’LL CAN DO ABOUT IT!!

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