Preacher Kid Confessions

The true story of one woman's journey in faith

 

clouds girl mountain dog

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HEY MY PEEPS I PRAY YA’LL ARE HAVING A BLESSED LABOR DAY, MY WEEKEND WAS GREAT WE’VE GOT A NEW DOG NAME WESSON AND WE HAVE BUTHCER’S ASHES BACK FROM THE CLINIC. MY DAVID IS STILL STRUGGLIN WITH HIS LOSS BUT WESSON HAS MADE HIS LOSS A LOT EASIER TO DEAL WITH AS THE DAYS HAVE GONE BY.

I’m sitting at work this holiday day with my papa whose going to be giving me away in 3 weeks at my wedding. I’m getting more and more excited about becoming “MRS. MY DAVID” I can hardly contain myself, we’re BOTH excited because we won’t have to worry about disappointing God by fornicating before marriage, we’ll finally be HUSBAND & WIFE and legal to be together sexually. I’d be lying if I said it was easy not being intimate with David, he’s an extremely handsome and sexy man and with my sexual addiction it makes it twice as hard to sustain from sex BUT OUR MINDS AND HEARTS WERE SET ON STAYIN’ CELIBATE UNTIL OUR WEDDING NIGHT NOT DISAPPOINTING AND DISRESPECTING GOD He means more to us individually and as a couple to risk shaming Him even if it’s in the privacy of our own home.

We’re also excited because we’re in love and want to live our lives together for as long as the Lord allows we’ve been working hard on our issues, we’re both strong willed people who’s been single and taking care of ourselves for a long time learning how to compromise and co-exist under one roof, adding the death of his long time pet Butcher, it’s been quite a struggle but it has bought us closer together and made it worth while. Wesson has definitely made a huge difference with David, he was standoffish with him at first, I understood that it would be but I wasn’t gonna let him treat Wesson different because he wasn’t Butcher.

It took a couple days but Wesson has won his heart and won him over, he’s making up silly little songs about Wesson, he tells him he loves him and he takes him for walks in the morning. He’s attempting to train him to be more obedient just like he did with Butcher and Mamas, I’m leaving it up to him because he knows what to do, I DON’T HAVE A CLUE, NOR DO I WANT A CLUE on how to train dogs. They’re playing fetch, and wrestling on the floor like two big kids until Wesson get too excited and begins to bite.

We rode the bike to get Butcher’s ashes from the clinic, it was rough for me at first, my concern was how David would react, he misses Butchie, we both do but he was closer to him than I was. Wesson is only 1 yrs old and very energetic, he does the funniest things while playing he’s been a joy and frustration at the same time but he’s also been the perfect healing for MY DAVID’S HEART ACHE, his heart was shattered into a million pieces when Butcher died I thank God for creating dogs to piece back together the hearts of those who have lost their FURRY FAMILY ON FOUR LEGS AND I’M GLAD TO ADD DAVID TO THE LIST.

He’s my hero and the love of my life, thank you Lord for knowing ME better than ME, I couldn’t have prayed for a better man to be my helpmeet and friend as you My God intended us to be, may we continue to grow in you, your word and in each other TIL DEATH DO US PART!! Thank you for our extended families and the fact that we GET ALONG although we’ve never met give, me the wisdom to know when and how to be a responsible, loving, and supportive mother/grandmother figure to our children/grandchildren AS WELL AS TO MY HUSBAND AND SUPPORTER who you sent knocking on my door to change my life for the better (although my life was great before).

Welcome to our family my perfect WessonAlity, you are a blessing and quite the addition to our home, thank you Lord for being our Jehovah Jireh our provider by supplying all our needs according to YOUR riches and glory through Christ Jesus our Lord. Phillipians 4 Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in THY SIGHT, oh Lord my strength and my redeemer. BE BLESSED ALL DAY EVERYDAY LIKE ME

photo of short coat tan and white dog

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HEY MY PEEPS I PRAY ALL IS WELL WITH YOU. I WANT TO THANK YA’LL FOR THE SUPPORT AND COMMENTS OFFERED DURING THIS DIFFICULT TIME FOR ME AND DAVID.

There’s a saying I heard on a song, it’s the theme for the sitcom Empty Nest from the 80’s, in the song, the beginning verse says “Life goes on and so do we” and I’ve tried to live by that statement over the years, it’s not always easy but it’s plausible. We lost our Butcher 2 days ago, My David’s having a hard time right now and I completely understand, he’s been with Butcher since he was a puppy and now he’s gone after 12 years, if I was in his position I’d be reacting this way too but WE MUST MOVE ON, Butcher is gone and we must keep living our lives no matter how much we miss him.

We knew we would get another dog, it was just a matter of when it would happen, we were looking on the adopt a pet website and saw the most beautiful brown pit bull named WESSON. He looks like Butcher and his brother JoJo, he’s 1 1/2 years old, he’s a stray who was left alone in the elements for weeks before he was rescued by animal control. He has beautiful brown eyes to match his beautiful brown coat, there’s a patch of white on his nose and he’s HYPERRRRRRRR!!!! This weekend is adopt a pet weekend, the adoption fee is waived and they’re giving animals away for FREE so we rushed to animal control to get WESSON MY NEW PUPPY!

He took to us immediately, jumping and licking us any and everywhere while we wait for his paperwork to adopt to be finalized. We got OUR WESSON, I call him MY PERFECT WESSONALITY, it was a chore getting him into the car, he kept running away until finally we were able to coral and place him into the hatchback where he stayed a whole minute before jumping into front seat while I’m driving on the freeway, David is working MY RESERVE NERVE, he’s showing favoritism  between the dogs, he’s standoffish with Wesson simply because he’s not Butcher, he’s making comments like “he’s not my dog”, he’s not eating out of Butcher’s bowl, he’s not gonna chew on Butcher’s bed, he’s not gonna play with Butcher’s toys, YADA, YADA, YADA, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, and he’s angering me to no avail.

I don’t like him mistreating WESSON because he’s mourning Butcher, I understand he’s hurting but Butcher is gone and we must move on, I’m not trying to replace Butcher in the house or in his heart, he must learn to see Wesson for who he is and not for who he’s NOT!!! He’s been making little comments since we got him and I don’t like it, I had to tell him to SHUT UP ABOUT IT ALREADY and after awhile he decided to TAKE A CHILL PILL AND CHILL UNTIL I SAY OTHERWISE. He’s doing a lot better today, he’s more relaxed and friendlier with Wesson, He is definitely a handful  (Wesson is too) lol and he’s taken over the reigns of training him to be more obedient ( WAIT A MINUTE WHAT AM I THINKIN’ HE’S NOT THAT OBEDIENT HIMSELF LOL).

Wesson has a great personality, he’s hyper, running around all over the place chasing invisible objects, tail waggin’, run, run, run, now he’s laying ON MY FEET AS I’M TYPING, LITTLE DOES HE KNOW MY FOOT IS FALLIN’ ASLEEP FROM HIS MUSCULAR WEIGHT ON ME but it’s okay I want him to be comfortable with me. I’m looking forward to this next stage of our lives, although we lost Butcher, we have Wessonality to fill the void and to keep mamas company. It will take a while for her to get use to Wesson, she’s missing Butcher and was wincing for him earlier, she’s nervous from all Wesson’s hyperness, I can just imagine what’s going through her mind now that he’s here. I can only guess, but here’s some examples of what Mamas’ is thinking while watching Wesson run around, “MAN YOU DOIN’ THE MOST!!!, SHOOT I’M TIRED YOU CAN DO ALL THAT RUNNIN’ IF YOU WANT TO, I’M CHILLIN’, MAN YOU BETTER GO ON WITH THAT!! DUDE, GO SIT DOWN SOMEWHERE YOU GETTIN’ ON MY NERVES!!! LOL I’m sure those are things Mamas might be thinking watching Wesson, she’s a funny lady dog and we love havin’ she and Wesson apart of our family.

WELCOME HOME WESSON! YOU’RE NO LONGER A STRAY AND LIVING ON YOUR OWN, YOU HAVE A FAMILY NOW AND A HOME WHERE YOU WILL BE LOVED LIKE OUR OWN. Thank you Lord for blessing me with Wesson, Mamas, Butcher, and mostly for MY DAVID the man you sent to find me when you thought I was ready to receive him. Take care my peeps I’ll keep ya’ll posted on Wesson and his progress, BE BLESSED ALL DAY EVERY DAY

animal dog pet cute

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HEY MY PEEPS I PRAY ALL IS WELL, THANK YOU TO ALL WHO COMMENTED, LIKED, OR OFFERED ADVICE ON HOW TO HANDLE BUTCHER’S LAST DAYS, TODAY WAS HIS LAST DAY ON EARTH, WE TOOK HIM TO HIS REGULAR VET AND HAD HIM PUT TO SLEEP!!

This is a sad day for My David and I because we put our puppy to sleep, we took him to his regular Vet for a final follow up before we had him euthanized. We wanted to get a second opinion on Butcher’s diagnosis before euthanizing him (for David’s peace of mind), so we drove him to the Vet where he was examined for about 5 mins before they came told us he has liver failure so after what seem FOREVER, we said our goodbyes, shedding tears of joy and pain before the Dr. came in with syringe in hand injecting the medicine through his IV as he began breathing harder and harder for a few seconds before FINALLY TAKING HIS LAST BREATHE AND PASSING AWAY!!!

I feel so bad for David, he’s truly mourning Butcher and I COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND, I know how close he is to his dogs and at times it angered me how much he showered them with affection but I never felt threatened by it because I understood their bond. He’s had Butcher since for 12 years old they were close so I know he’s gonna grieve Butcher for awhile and I’m prepared to support him in any way he needs me. My heart aches for him, he’s walking around the house grieving for his puppy so I’ll give him the space he needs and the love he deserves to get him, US, through this difficult period. We were gonna have them at our wedding standing next to us while we say our vows but now that won’t happen and although I’m sad he won’t be there physically, We’ll have his picture there TO REPRESENT HEYYY!!!

I’m missing Butcher, I realize now looking back yesterday that he was saying GOODBYE to me when he stood up for a final time laying his chin on the recliner beside my leg so I could GIVE HIM LOVE, he kept his eyes on me the whole time standing there for about 5 minutes before lying at my feet where he laid for the rest of the night as I left for work. I took him for a ride in our new car just last week, he always enjoyed riding in cars, we were attached too and I’m gonna miss him. GOODBYE MY BUTCHIE BABY BOY, thank you for protecting me and my child when David was at work, or counseling sessions, thank you for watching the house when we were gone AND THANK YOU FOR LYING NEXT TO MY BED OR AT THE FOOT OF THE BED ALLOWING ME TO SEE YOUR HANDSOME FACE (BESIDES YOUR DAD) FIRST THING IN THE MORNING.

GOODBYE BUTCHIE BUTCH, I LOVE YOU, I MISS YOU, YOUR DADDY LOVE & MISS YOU AND SO DOES MAMAS! Thank you Lord for the time we had with Butcher, he was a wonderful dog and companion, be with us as we mourn his presence or lack of presence in our lives but NOT in our hearts, in Jesus’ name we pray and we thank You.  Amen

Thank you again my followers for reading my posts daily, I pray my struggles can help you navigate your way through yours with the help of the Lord. Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in thy sight oh Lord my strength and my redeemer. Amen

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HEY MY PEEPS HERE’S AN UPDATE ON BUTCHER MY BABY BOY

My David and I have been keeping a watchful eye on Butcher the last 3 or 4 days, we’ve gone through a range of emotions I haven’t felt since my daughter was born 4 months early and almost died so it’s been tough for us but especially for My David. He’s been worrying himself sick, his stomach is tied up in knots, and he has a headache. He’s been crying off and on concerned for Butcher and wandering whether or not he’ll need to put him to sleep. Butcher is still not eating but he’s drinking fluids we give him via syringe and he’s been keeping in down instead of vomiting it back up like he’d been doing previously.

I was sitting in my recliner checking my emails when all of a sudden Butcher gets up from the floor and began walking toward the leather loveseat he enjoy sitting on then all of a sudden out of the blue, he jumps up onto the loveseat and falls asleep. He laid there for an hour before he climbed down slowly back onto the floor. Once he was on the floor I grabbed my anointing oil from the mirror, dabbed my finger in it and laid my hands on Butcher praying for the Lord to heal Butcher from whatever was ailing him. I placed my hand on his stomach/abdomen area, his back, legs, and top of his head praying and speaking healing over him in Jesus’ name. I began thanking God for healing Butcher because I learned that when you pray it’s okay to ask God for something but you must also thank Him in advance for answering it and leave it at that so I did that very thing and left him alone after ending his prayer.

A few minutes passed I was cooking supper when suddenly I see Butcher getting up off the floor and began walking into the kitchen where I was watching him from my breakfast nook. I called David from the other room where he saw Butcher walking towards the water bowl and he got so excited I was happy for him. Butcher walked outside to use the bathroom but changed his mind when he heard  thunder and lightning and walked back into the house. He’s a little groggy from the pain pills but he’s able to walk on his own. He hasn’t been walking since Sunday, he’s been laying around sleeping off and on and not eating, when David would try to feed him he would turn his head away refusing to eat but today he’s taking everything he’s given and has only thrown up twice, he’s now standing in front of me as I’m typing these words waiting for me to GIVE HIM LOVE like he always does when I’m in my recliner, GOD IS GOOD, I HAVE FAITH BUTCHER WILL BE BETTER SOON, PRAYER WORKS, AND GOD IS FAITHFUL!!

Thank God I was hesitant about putting him down, we will take him back to his regular Vet to see if they see what the other Vet saw on Tuesday. It’s weird because I just took Butcher to his regular Vet in late June, we had blood work done and a complete physical too and they gave him a clean bill of health, heart, lungs, and all so it’s strange that he would get to this point in such a short time. The Vet the other day said his heart and lungs are in excellent condition so I’m quite confused as to how we got to this point. Anyways, we’re gonna continue to monitor him and if he begins acting that way again we will take him to his regular Vet to see what’s going on.

He’s looking around at everyone lying at my feet and watching every move David makes, he’s acting like himself again I’m so relieved and happy for both he and My David, maybe now he can stop working MY RESERVE NERVE worrying over our puppy. The bible says ” you desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. You have not because you ask not. James 4:2 so I asked the Lord to heal Butcher and make him better and so far he’s acting like the Butcher of old and He heard my cry and answered my prayer,,,,.BUTCHER’S PRAYER!! Let the words of my mouth and the meditation in my heart be acceptable in Thy sight oh Lord my strength and my redeemer and thank you for answering BUTCHER’S PRAYER AMEN

animal dog pet cute

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HEY MY PEEPS I WANT TO THANK ALL OF YOU WHO COMMENTED OR GAVE ME ADVICE CONCERNING BUTCHER. IT WAS REALLY HELPFUL AND WE’RE TAKING EVERYTHING INTO CONSIDERATION.

We’ve been keeping a watchful eye on Butcher since Tuesday’s Vet visit, he’s not eating solid food but we’re able to give him his food in liquid form and he doesn’t throw it up as much as he was the day prior. He’s moving around from bed to bed, sitting up on his front legs while looking at us but he’s still not back to himself. We don’t expect him to (at least I don’t David is another story) I’m now okay with euthanizing, I don’t want to watch him suffer, David on the other hand is torn between what to do. He’s had Butcher since he was weened from his mother. They’re really close, David has trained him to pray and talk, he’s a smart dog and sweet as can be. He was never trained to be vicious he was loving, and gentle I became attached to him after the first day.

David slept with both of his dogs for years he kisses them hugs them SMOTHERS THEM WITH ATTENTION, they’ve been his companions for 12 and 15 years so I understand his struggle whether or not to euthanize Butcher I know how close they are. He’s an extremely sensitive man, very affectionate, and emotional I’ve never been with a man as sensitive as he and I have to learn how to deal with a man like him but he’s worth the effort. I’m concerned about him, he’s taking this real hard this isn’t an easy decision for him to make I know he will do the right thing eventually. Butcher and Mamas gave him unconditional love his family didn’t give him. He was mentally, emotionally, and physically abused by his alcoholic parents being beaten with broomsticks and running away from home at 3 years of age because he couldn’t take anymore of the drama.

The puppies became his family and now one of them is dying, he now must mourn and grieve his family member the same as we would our human family member so I’m giving him the time to do that before he decides to end Butcher’s life. I feel sorry for him, he’s in pain and I’m gonna support him as much as I can to get him through this difficult time. I love him, I love the puppies, I’m gonna miss waking up with Butchie lying on the floor on my side of the bed licking my arm as I began petting his head. He also likes to sleep at the foot of the bed on his favorite rug until I wake up, I’m gonna miss my Butchie Butch, my Butchie Baby Boy and I love you Butch Butch!! Your NEW MAMA

Thanks again for the comments and advice my peeps I’ll keep ya’ll posted on the GOINGS ON (shout out to the late Bernie Mac) lol  Lord Jesus I pray you’re strength and comfort for my David during this difficult time give him the courage to do the right thing in the right time. HEYYY HE JUST JUMPED FROM THE FLOOR TO THE LOVE SEAT ON HIS OWN!!! WOW MY BUTCH BUTCH, in Jesus’ name we pray Amen

 

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HEY MY PEEPS THIS DOG LOOKS LIKE MY DOG BUTCHER HE’S MY DAVID’S DOG HE’S HAD SINCE HE WAS WEENED FROM HIS MOM. HE’S THE SWEETEST DOG BUT HE ONLY HAS DAYS TO LIVE AND NOW WE MUST DECIDE WHETHER OR NOT TO EUTHANIZE HIM OR ALLOW HIM TO DIE NATURALLY. WHAT A CHOICE!!

A couple days ago Butcher was licking my arm as I petted him under his chin, from the first day I met him at David’s place, he gave me the run down on his history with our puppies, Mamas is 15, Butcher is 11, he’s extremely close to them kissing them all the time, hovering over them like a storm cloud, they can’t move an inch without him questioning their whereabouts, STOP, LAY DOWN, GO HERE. GO THERE, EAT THIS, DON’T EAT THAT, STOP, UGHHHH, MAN DUDE GO, all day everyday, I’m surprised they still have nerves left from him worrying them to death. He went from our hyper, fun Butcher to our lying around, not eating, eyes red, drooling Butcher so we took him to the Vet to run test this morning once I got home from working my overnight shift.

David is really hurting right now I feel so bad for him, he loves Butcher and Mamas as if they’re human beings, they’ve been his only constant all these years because of his estrangement with his family due to past drug and alcohol use. His parents are deceased, he’s close to his sister who lives near us and our Kids and Grands live out of state, so the dogs are all he’s had and now one of them is dying and we must decide what our next step must be, let him die naturally or have him euthanized, I personally don’t believe in euthanizing, I’m a caregiver by trade and have had clients die right in front of me.

I know the smell of death, once you’ve smelled it you’ll never forget it and once my clients get to that stage of life where death is seeping through their pores I know it’s a matter of time before their organs begin shutting down completely. The reason for the scent is because the organs are beginning to shut down and now the decision must be made to keep the client as comfortable as possible until they take their last breathe and I feel the same for Butcher. We found out he has a tumor in his abdomen, were not sure if it’s cancerous we were told he needed surgeries that would cost thousands of dollars with no promise of a cure  so we decided to bring him home.

We discussed euthanizing and cremation prices and decided to cremate him allowing him to die naturally IN HIS OWN TIME at home where he’s comfortable. I’M NOT GOD, WHO AM I TO TAKE A LIFE JUST TO PREVENT THEM FROM SUFFERING!!! In my 36 years of experience I’ve never had a client’s family put them to sleep simply to spare them of pain and suffering, they all were instructed to keep the patient as comfortable as possible until the end and that’s  exactly what they did, now we’re faced with the same dilemma with Butcher.

While we waited for the Vet to come back into the waiting room, David and I took pictures with Butcher showering him with love and affection trying hard not to cry in front of him sensing he’ll not want to fight to stay alive so we just hugged each other for about 5 minutes crying in each other’s arms quietly saying goodbye as reality is setting in that OUR BUTCHER WILL DIE IN A MATTER OF DAYS!! It’s been over 40 years since I had a dog, they all died over time by natural causes where we would find them deceased and buried them in our backyard, Butcher will be cremated just like David’s dogs in the past and he will send is ashes to his son in California who was extremely close to Butcher when he was a young boy and I must deal with David’s grief over losing his close companion of all these years.

He’s been crying off and on since this morning I don’t know what to do for him to make it better but I will try something in order to help him get through this bereavement period in his life. He’s lying on the floor next to our puppy lovin’ on him, saying his goodbyes silently with tears strolling down his face. My heart aches for David, I love him so, this is really tough for him but I have no doubt he will get through this, NO, WE WILL GET THROUGH THIS TOGETHER!! Neither of us feel comfortable enough to just take Butcher’s life all WILLY NILLY, we feel it’s not up to us it’s God’s call just like it is with human beings, besides if I as a caregiver decided to end my client’s life sooner than need be, they’d arrest me for murder and lock me up for life so I feel the same rule applies here in this situation, WHAT DO YA’LL THINK MY PEEPS I WELCOME ANY COMMENTS AND ADVICE, how would you handle this situation? Feel free to comment.

David has said from day one that Butcher was going to be MY DOG because he took to me right away and once we moved into the house, he would lay at my feet no matter where I was sitting and at night he’d lay at the foot or my side of the bed while I slept so when I wake up he could greet me with a lick on my hand as I petting him on his head. This is our daily routine and I for one will miss him very, very, much I understand David’s connection to his dogs, I share in his connection and we will grieve our dog together until THE END. Goodbye BUTCHIE BUTCH, HE’S MY BUTCHIE BABY BOY ( ONE OF MANY NICKNAMES I’VE GIVEN HIM OVER THE MONTHS) I will miss you and I love you.

We were hoping he’d walk down the aisle with us at our upcoming wedding but we know it won’t be happening now, HE WILL BE MISSED AND REMEMBERED ALWAYS!! MAMA AND DADDY LOVE YOU VERY MUCH BUTCHER!!! SO LONG MY FRIEND! Let the words of my mouth and meditation of my heart be acceptable in thy sight oh Lord my strength and my redeemer, have a blessed day my peeps keep us in prayer as we pray for all of you in our daily prayers MY FAMILY!!!!

adorable beautiful blur boy

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HEY MY PEEPS I’M SO THANKFUL TO ALL OF YOU WHO READ MY POSTS AND LEAVE COMMENTS, I’M NOT THAT COMPUTER LITERATE TO RESPOND TO EACH COMMENT SO I’M THANKING YOU ALL NOW! I HOPE MY STORY WILL HELP BUILD, ENCOURAGE, ENLIGHTEN, AND EMPOWER OTHERS TO FACE THEIR TRAUMATIC HISTORIES WITH FAITH IN KNOWING GOD’S GRACE IS SUFFICIENT FOR US REGARDLESS OF OUR STRUGGLES!!!

GRACE IS: GOD’S- RICHES -AT- CHRIST’S- EXPENSE- and I’ve learned over the years how much Grace the Lord has given me in my lifetime of sin SO WHEN IT COMES TO DEALIN’ WITH OTHER’S ESPECIALLY MEN I’M LEARNING TO BE GRACIOUS WITH THEM TOO. Men are complicated, men are immature, men are self centered and most times selfish BUT REAL MEN ARE hardworking, great father’s, selfless, protective, smart, and funny and that’s why I say they’re complicated and all those things describe the men I’ve dated in my past including My David!!! He’s had a really bad upbringing and history, I’ve never known a man whose gone through as much as he has so I’m learning grace and patience from the Lord when dealing with him. He and his sister have told me stories of their past since I’ve known them but I know there’s more to tell BUT what I do know is he came from a broken family of SEVERE ALCHOLIC, ABUSIVE, CHAIN CIGARETTE SMOKIN’ parents who divorced, his father met another woman had a daughter by her (who’s the sister he’s close to here where we live now) and now exposed to the abuse JUST FOR BEIN’ BORN!

They’ve both told me of incidents of his sister being his lifeline as a kid because when she visited she became his LIFELINE from the physical abuse he’s been receiving since he was young, at the age of 2 he was nicknamed JD it means juvenile delinquent and as he grew up he displayed the behavior through adulthood. One time his mom was beating his sister with a BROOMSTICK JUST FOR BEIN BORN FROM HER EX until it broke across her back, My David stepped in and took the rest of the beating for her and that began an unhealthy bond they share to this day. As he grew he got into trouble with alcohol and drugs and has served time in prison after serving in the US Marines. He’s 18 years sober and although he’s no longer doing them, their long term affects are manifesting in our relationship where at will he can act like the perpetual 5 year old throwing temper tantrums or having what a friend has called “BANGIN’ ON THE HIGHCHAIR TIME” and it is hard for me to handle MOST TIMES.

It’s a medical fact that when a teenager begin doing drugs, over time they resort back to age 9 or less mentally due to the effects of the drugs and when it’s carried over into adulthood, we women are left with GROWN 6 YEAR OLD MEN who come into our lives with the ultimate line they’ve used on every woman over the years but NEVER REVEALING THEIR IMMATURITY UNTIL THEY HAVE US HOOK, LINE, AND SINKER! In my case it was David who plead his case with me but failed to reveal his true self and how immature he is considering his age. He’s whimsical at times, ANAL ABOUT PERSONS BEING HELD ACCOUNTABLE, and very sensitive, he can easily be offended or get his feelings hurt and once that happens he begin to yell, rant and rave, WAH, WAH, WAH, like a baby in a highchair bangin’ until he gets my attention BUT THE ATTENTION HE ENDS UP GETTIN’ DOESN’T HELP HIS BEHAVIOR so he begin whining about how he can’t TAKE THIS, AND HE CAN’T TAKE THAT, I HATE THIS AND I HATE THAT, YOU SAID SOMETHING TO HURT MY FEELINGS, I CAN’T TAKE YOUR MOUTH, (ALTHOUGH HE’S THE ONE WHO GOT ME STARTED IN THE FIRST PLACE), BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BANG, BANG, BANG, WAH, WAH, WAH!!

We went out to eat yesterday before I went to work, (I failed to remember what happened the last time we went to dinner before work when we argued about the car insurance and I told him off, you’d think I’d learned my lesson BUT NOOOOOO I had to take him out. We ordered our food, he got his first, I had to wait more than ten minutes or more for my food so after awhile I went to the counter to get a refund because I lost my appetite for the food because it was taking so long to prepare. By this time David has gotten out of his seat walking to the counter speaking loudly, and sarcastically to the workers throwing a STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN FIT IN FRONT OF ALL THE CUSTOMERS AND STAFF and EMBARRASSING THE HECK OUT OF ME AND MAKING ME ANGRY AT THE SAME TIME. I COULDA PUNCHED HIM IN THE THOAT (YES I SAID THOAT) IT’S A BLACK THANG, HEYYYY LOL, I turned to him as I stood in front of the manager embarrassed as all get out and told him to STOP, JUST SHUT UP, ALL THAT IS NOT NECESSARY, I’M HANDLING IT AND YOU’RE EMBARASSSING ME, JUST STOP!!!!

I felt less than 2 ft tall that’s how loud and animated he was in that restaurant. The patrons were looking at us this black woman and white man together, I’M LOOKING FLY AS USUAL BECAUSE THAT’S HOW I ROLL lol, while he’s walking around bangin’ on the highchair thinking he’s helping me when he’s not! I got my money back, gathered my items and walked out the door embarrassed as heck and equally mad at David for acting  like that IN PUBLIC IN MY ROYAL PRESENCE LOL  I told him off NICELY, he pouted for awhile afterwards until he noticed it wasn’t working nor getting any kind of positive attention from me and stopped TRIPPIN! I’m praying daily for patience in dealing with this GROWN MAN/CHILD, he and my daughter can act the same age at times like they did last weekend and a whole lot of times prior to then but I Love them both with all my heart and wouldn’t trade neither of them in for no amount of money.

God has been patient with me over the years, he continues to be patient with me, I’ not perfect at all, I make all kinds of mistakes, I repent daily for my sarcastic sense of humor when it offends those who don’t get it, like David at times, I pray for patience although I’ve grown over time I still have a ways to go especially when dealing with David. He’s a wonderful man but very immature for his age, he tries real hard to please me and make me happy, he does a great job of it because I am happy despite our struggles, I’m in this marriage for the long haul sometimes I wander if he feels the same especially during his highchair moment or when I’m having my moment, he’s still around so maybe he does feel the same. Our big day is coming, we’re so excited, I pray Lord God that you mature my husband to the man he needs to be for the family you’ve blessed him with for the rest of our lives may I be a supportive yet patient wife to him showing grace and love along the way. I only want to build him up, not tear him down.

He’s my hero, the love of my life, I’m honored to be HIS and pray I can be the woman of God he needs me to be for both he and the Lord. Thank you Lord for blessing me and my child with a wonderful HELPMATE!!! Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in thy sight oh Lord my strength and my redeemer. Thanks again to all who follow me and read my posts feel free to comment once you follow me, I’ll respond back to you, I promise. Ya’ll are an encouragement to me to continue to share my life with you MY FAMILLY it’s not easy but it’s necessary for my HEALING IN THE LORD. MUCH LOVE